I’m on this travel memoir thing I guess. I was searching Amazon. I think Amazon is utterly stupid. Their computers have no idea what you’re looking for. I have a better time finding books randomly looking around a used book store. Why can’t Amazon just throw out books randomly, but you know they won’t. You know if they did, it would be an algorithm heavily leaning toward the most profitable books out there by the largest publishers. Anyway, a few clicks deep into the search I came across these apparently self-published memoirs of guys on sex trips to Southeast Asia. This is one such book, but more than just that. First of all, I don’t like prostitution, and even worse, Third World prostitution. It’s exploitative, and it’s hideous how our higher standard of living, the dollar hegemony, and simply being born American allows you to exploit the world’s poor and throw them a few bucks for a blowjob. While the standard of living and median income in America has gone down since 2008, the American middle class is still the aristocracy of the world thanks to two world wars that transferred Europe’s wealth to us, and much of Europe’s wealth was stolen. Much of our wealth was also stolen. We love to rally against the 1% exploiting us and using their wealth to pay for white, American prostitutes, but what about us going to a Third World or developing nation and exploiting their women who often have no better job opportunities, most are already sexually abused, and many start out as sex slaves?
While I don’t like to read about people with low morals, because I believe it plants seeds in your mind and influences your behavior, the Bangkok sex tourism thing is something I’m curious about, and it’s new to me. While the author says he is straight, the first few chapters are dedicated to his interludes with a few lady-boys of Singapore. He has no shame or guilt stringing along a lady-boy who lent him several hundred US dollar equivalents and sleeping with her friend lady-boy. In fact, being a lady-boy, he has no intention whatsoever of even making her his girlfriend let alone wife. His callousness is unnerving, but then it made me think. He’s some IT nerd. When nerdy guys go to Asia, they get treated like studs. And as such, many of them start acting like that certain kind of stud that doesn’t give a shit about women and only thinks of them as a piece of ass. So the question is, do a lot of nerdy guys in America act all nice, kind, and compassionate to women, because women aren’t jumping all over them? If women started jumping all over them, would that turn them into callous, misogynistic, jerks? My answer is there are all sorts of guys out there on a spectrum of nice to jerks. The interesting thing is that the nerdy ones never realize just how much of a callous, misogynist, jerk they can be until they’re put in a situation when women are all over them. The author makes a point that once a guy is no longer interested in the woman, she goes crazy over him, but I would argue, this is only true if she is insecure and/or was abused, so she mistakes the lack of interest and attention or even abuse as what she mistakes for love. Trust me, been there, done that.
In the fourth chapter, the author goes on a rant against America and its bullshit. The author says he’s not into politics and doesn’t vote and doesn’t like either Republicans or Democrats, but I would argue that he’s been brainwashed to dislike politics, and if he did look into it, he’d realize he was a libertarian. He comes across as anti-authority, anti-establishment, and anti-convention. He argues, correctly in my opinion, that we have all be trained to conform and seek approval by conformity. He argues about how America is so sex-phobic and how instead of releasing endorphins through sex, we release it through eating, illegal drugs, or prescription drugs. He’s right on the mark with a lot of things, but then to turn around and sexually exploit the same poor people he supposedly wants to protect from American bombs sounds pretty hypocritical. His answer to all of America’s problems, besides leaving the country, is not organizing and fighting the system but running away and trying to live the most selfish, self-gratifying, self-absorbed, self-glorifying, self-obsessed life possible paying for sex in Asia. Fact is, since white people have conquered the world, and America is now on top, many poor people find Americans cool and attractive. It somehow connects them to something better than their miserable, poor, native lives. It’s like an escape for them. So all these American guys who get rejected and ignored in America can go travel and all the sudden, not only do foreign women find them more appealing, but they’re also cheaper to pay for sex. You have to admit, what hot-blooded 20-something dude who’s been rejected all his life can resist this proposition? On top of this, in America, if you’re 5’9” or less, you often get overlooked for 6’ feet guys. But in Asia, even at 5’5” you’re as tall as any other Asian guy. So at 5’9” you’re basically a 6’ feet guy to Asians. When I visited Korea and met a bunch of English teachers, not only were they much thinner than the typical America (probably from eating there), but they also tended to be shorter.
His story about scoring with some really hot, tough-skinned Thai girl and then being turned on by the flicker of light in her that represents her innocence and vulnerability which he says will expire any day is utterly disgusting. He keeps referring to himself as an alpha, and he is anything but. He makes the common Error Management Theory error of believing that if he has an impulsive, he should follow it as should everyone else. As I noted in a previous review, we only have outsized urges for things that are usually rare and take for granted those things that are abundant. As a result, we have an outsized craving for sugar and privacy while taking vegetables and working out for granted. Likewise, men have an outsized craving for sex, but only because historically, it has been rare, not because it has been abundant. He calls himself a Roman, because Romans, supposedly screwed everything that moved, but we didn’t evolve from Romans. We evolved from primates which survived through monogamy. Certainly, men always tried to spread their seed, but they had to constantly calculate the huge risks of being caught and causing huge disruption to the social order of the clan. Why would any man want to take care of a child if he had any doubt of her father? If one man in the clan had sex with all the women, the other men would band together to kill him. On top of this, for thousands of years before condoms were invented, sexually transmitted diseases would wreak havoc on humans. We are innately monogamous. Men’s outsized desire for sex indicates this. If men always had sex with multiple partners, we would desire sex as much as we desire vegetables.
The author basically comes across as a sociopath who is rationalizing his sex addiction. He was burned by a Thai girl he married and brought back to America, so he has vowed never to be hurt again by turning around and hurting everyone. The problem with hanging out with prostitutes is that their mentality rubs off on you. In their world, there are only two people, the abusers and the abused. If you’re not abusing them, then you must be the one who is abused. This is why so many strippers and prostitutes give all their money to some pimp or boyfriend. They can’t fathom a relationship of equals with respect. They don’t understand it. It’s as foreign to them as chopsticks are to rednecks. If they’re not being abused, they feel compelled to abuse their partner, and if their partner is being abusive, they feel comforted by it. It’s a twisted unfortunate universe they live in, and the author has been baited into it and devolves into some immoral reptile who thinks he can mansplain or rationalize everything away.
He brings up an interesting argument that there is no such thing as gay people, that the Church invented the idea to condemn it, that we’re all capable of homosexuality, we just are too ashamed to try it. I think this is as closed minded as the Church’s opinion on sex. We’re all diverse. Some people are so straight, they’re sickened by the idea or appearance of the other sex’s genitalia. Many are just somewhere in between. And it’s okay to be anywhere on that spectrum. It’s okay to like men, or women, or transsexuals, or whatever or all or A and B but not C or A and C but not B or even none of the above. It’s all possible and acceptable.
I didn’t really want to read more than half the book, but I will give it to the author, he has an interesting style, and it was also like watching a pornographic car wreck. The novel is almost 300 pages, but it should have stopped at about 230 pages. The stories of sex get pretty old. He finds some bar girl (prostitute) and takes her upstairs, has a shower, she gives him a blowjob, he finds her so different than everyone else, he’s on top of the world, she plays with his balls, he sticks in her baby maker, then up her poop maker, then shoots his wad. Since he hates using condoms, it’s beyond all doubt this guy is loaded with STDs, and in one instance his balls turn bright red. I wouldn’t doubt it if he ultimately gets AIDS like Charlie Sheen. And it’s beyond me how he can eat out a prostitute knowing that it’s seen hundreds of cocks, most of which are probably infected with STDs as well. This guy is totally delusional. I skimmed the fourth and third to last chapters, but then I read the last two chapters. One was about screwing a lady boy, and I was waiting for the moment the guy finally gets it up the butt, but alas, he just relays how some lady boy rubbed her cock on his thigh and then when he was doing missionary style up her butt, her cock was rubbing against his stomach. Then again, if this guy did get it up the butt, would he admit it in his memoirs? I read the last chapter expecting some great epiphany, but it’s yet another tired story of screwing, and then he rides off into the sunset on his motorcycle like the delusional stud he is.
His bravado, machismo, cocky, I’m an alpha Roman spiel comes across as annoying and shocking, but then I realized that it is no different than the prostitutes who put on a big show about how tough, arrogant, hard, and ruthless they are. They’re just big shows to distract you from the fact they are severely damaged and suffering. While the author brags about seeing the little light of innocence in some of the prostitutes before it gets snuffed out, you can also see the faint flicker of innocence and humanity in the author. He gets annoyed when some dude takes advantage of a prostitute, leading her on, taking her home, and then dumping her. Certainly, I’d love to be in his shoes for a little bit, but this guy has gone off the deep end, and it’s more of an addiction that controls him. It’s just those endorphins crackling in your head, and since his life is so devoid of true romance, love, or real relationships and friendships, the only high he can get is sex. While you may think that’s a much better addiction than food, gambling, or drugs, at least with food, gambling, and drugs, you’re only hurting yourself. With sex, by paying a poor girl money, you’re really undermining yourself by taking advantage of another human being who would never in a million years have sex with you if she had never been sexually abused or if she had better job opportunities. Finally, the self-published book has dozens of typos. He probably spent all his money on prostitutes instead of an editor. I can’t blame him too much, because I self-publish and I find typos in my book, but at least, I keep rereading them to find them. I don’t think this guy reread this book much as he’s not really one for self-reflection or self-awareness. In the end, I don’t look up to him as some sex god hero as he might have intended but rather as some hapless addict with no life outside his addiction. The sex part just makes it more interesting to read about, but even after a while, it’s no longer interesting and just becomes rather sad and banal. Imagine that, he succeeded in making sex sad and banal.